a separate piece

There are times when I feel like I am on a seperate course than everyone else. I don't know why, but I have the feeling I am the way I am for a very specific purpose. I sometimes feel as though I have the innocent playfullness of a six yer old child that so many of my friends have lost....some are lucky enough to have kept it. I also feel as though there are more times than not that I am five years ahead of everyone else. I feel as though I have been planning my purpose in making ripples in the world since age ten and my peers are only now starting to even think about such things and I am a senior in college. I have been a mini adult since I was 13 and realized I may have to take care of my parents and friends more often than they care for me. I am going to have to sit and wait until my peers go through their "experimental stage" and get ready to really live their lives. I will not meet a guy to meet my maturity level until I am graduated college and way on my way to success.....maybe 25-30 because thats when most men decide being with one woman the rest of their lives isn't such a bad thing. I will have to fake crazy bar nights and insane 21st birthdays because I love the people I celebrate them with, but honestly, I can't wait for them to catch up already. I am tired of people thinking the only way to feel like they are living is through an altered state of mind through drugs or alcohol. Im tired of meeting guys who do not have any problem lying to you to get a quick sex fix. Im exhausted with the endless parties and boring talk about "livin' it up" and "scoring some". Im just done. Im ready to travel. Im ready to experience things that are so naturally intense that I feel high with the overwhelming thought that there are things larger in life than my own life. I want to learn things and change lives. I want to see things that help me greater appreciate what I have and show me how to live my life sincerely and selflessly. That is what is important to me. It's so hard to live this way on my own and I cant wait till someone decides to catch up or walk in my direction....