Stuff that just makes you feel good

-Finding a new artist/songwriter and sharing them with someone
-The smell of rain before it falls
-Seeing/participating in a random act of kindness
-Curling up and watching a movie with someone who will touch every inch of you
-The first snowfall
-Very rare runner's high
-A good outfit
-A Monet landscape
-Gustav Klimt
-Lying naked under the warm covers
-The feeling of heavy relaxation the moment before you fall asleep
-Amalfi Coastline
-The hot sun beaming down on your cold body after a dip in the ocean
-Hearing "You are in fact very different"
-A hot. steamy shower...at least a half hour long
-Adrenaline rush during a kiss
-Saving a life. yes,I have
-Favorite song comes on the radio when you mentally ask it to
-New shoes
-A smile from a stranger in passing
-The release after a test from hell has finally ended
-First sign of spring after a long, torturous winter
-Lying down, closing your eyes, and really taking in the lyrics and sound of a great song
-Sexy Lingerie...even if its just me who knows i am wearing it
-Long hugs
-Being the first one to run your tracks through the snow
-Suffocation..from laughter
-A kiss amongst chaos
-Ice Cream
-Puppies
-Brutally profound words from a younger person
-The smell of a newborn baby
Just to name a few ;)

Thank God I am alive. Even in this time of financial starvation in our country, I am so greatful for the twenty one years of my life.

High School?

I just watched a full length documentary on American Teenagers at Indiana State High School. It was a very well filmed show about several different "labeled" kids in the cliques of senior year. It takes the viewer alongside the students and swallows you whole into the dramatic world of being an 18 year old. There was the jock trying to get a basketball scholarship. The queen bee of student council who had looks, grades, everything who wanted to go to Notre Dame. The band geek who just couldn't score with the ladies, and the art freak who wanted to go to filming school in California. This movie showed me the ups and downs of high school and brought me back to an all familiar scratching fest of the social totem pole. How could kids be so mean to spread rumors about skanks and hoes? Who vandalizes a home because their vote for prom theme didn't work out? It seems ridiculous, but to these kids, it is their world.
The show got me to wondering.....who was I in this scenario? I went to a Catholic school where cliques are supposedly non existent, but to anyone who has been in my situation, we all know better than to believe that God's school does not make social groups. I was never a name anyone could drop, I feel as though I went throughout high school being unnoticed by most. I had a best friend, Liz and a small group of friends that unfortunately faded after high school, but almost four years later, I am kind of curious to see what everyone truly thought of me. Of course there were the lesbian rumors that spread rapidly the first day of freshmen year. Who knew a small comment to a fellow student about the upkeep of her hair could result in labeling someones sexual identity? In high school, it was all about being labeled. If you were one way one time, it stuck with you the entire duration of your stay. I wonder what I was?
Was I the art freak? I loved the arts and spent most of my time after school doodling in my notebook and finding artistic connections with meaning behind them.
Was I the nerd who was enrolled in several different clubs such as national honor society, SADD, Hospice, and Yearbook?
Was I the scholar who strives to get a straight A record hoping to get into tons of well known schools? The girl who loved AP English and would squeal at the thought of meeting a famous author such as Jane Austin?
I was all of these things, but I feel as though I did not fit into one category. It puzzles me. I am curious to see what others thought of me in high school and where they thought I would go several years from now once I graduated. I know it seems pointless to wonder now, high school is a minor part of our existence, but it seems to leave an imprint in everyone s heart whether it be good or bad. Everyone secretly wanted to be a fly on the wall to see or hear what their peers thought of them. People still wonder. I know I still do.