dirty secret

Heres my secret. I think about you almost everyday. I wonder what you are up to and how your life is. I haven't found someone who I have had as much fun with since you and I am not sure I ever will and that scares me. You are the only one who has loved me for me entirely and I value it more now than I ever have before. With you I am comfortable. I've gone through all the phases. Its over, but my secret is I sometimes still hope that we will try it out again someday and have a wicked fun life together. Call it what you want, but whats the harm in thinking about it outloud?

what the fuck. I hate this shit

what is it?

What is it that makes us want to make poor decisions?? You know that feeling....the feeling you know what you are doing is terrible, but you secretly enjoy the edge of it. Why do we like it!? I mean it never turns out well. Something is found out or your plan falls through orr you feel terrible later.....why can't we misbehave and once or twice just get off easy? Like the small stuff. Why can't we just get off guilt free? Its not like someone dies or something. I mean you slip ex lax in your 8th grade teacher's coffee....I still feel bad to this day. It felt goooood doing it but my god she spent the entire day in the bathroom. Why do we do those things?? Or the rush of an almost affair? The choice to cheat on something or someone? Stealing a gnome off of a lawn? Why do we continue to do them? I mean is it worth the adrenaline rush........I think so :)
live a little

oh boy

I think I really screwed up...I had something good and I let it slip between my fingers....im an idiot.

Make my heart heavy good stuff :
"We have a house in Jersey. We have two kids, Annie and Josh. Annie's not much of a violin player, but she tries real hard. She's a little precocious, but that's only because she says what's on her mind. And when she smiles... And Josh, he has your eyes. He doesn't say much, but we know he's smart. He's always got his eyes open, he's always watching us. Sometimes you can look at him and you just know he's learning something new. It's like witnessing a miracle. The house is a mess but it's ours. After 122 more payments, it's going to be ours. And you, you're a non-profit lawyer. That's right, you're completely non-profit, but that doesn't seem to bother you. And we're in love. After 13 years of marriage we're still unbelievably in love. You won't even let me touch you until I've said it. I sing to you. Not all the time, but definitely on special occasions. We've dealt with our share of surprises and made a lot of sacrifices but we've stayed together. You see, you're a better person than I am. And it made me a better person to be around you. I don't know, maybe it was just all a dream. Maybe I went to bed one lonely night in December and I imagined it all. But I swear, nothing has ever felt more real. And if you get on that plane right now, it'll disappear forever. I know we could both go on with our lives and we'd both be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together. And I choose us. "-Nicholas Cage (The Family Man)