change

I know people say change is good...but its bad too. I mean...change is hard. I hate it. I don't like to differ from my normal self. In fact, my most recent changes have been the most difficult to handle. I wonder if you conciously do it or if theres a way to stop changing. I mean I basically want the personality I have now when im old because I dont want to feel old. Im tired of compromising myself for other people. Im always dissapointed in the end. I need to stop changing the good things and target the stuff thats healthy to change. This is more of a self reflective thing for myself I guess. The worst is guys. For the longest time I have felt like if i change to this guys standards, ill be okay but i noticed something: they never change for me. I need to stop molding myself into someone im pretending to be. Its too exhausting and painful. I wanna be me.

high

Im running on four hours of sleep right now.....got a caffiene high ...ugggh thought i'd share. The loss of sleep. ..Totally worth it ; )

Recognition

Im in a lyrics phase.......

We are just shadows
Crawling through this micro alley
But I am hungry for your love
And I am starving for a better time
But that’s all we got here
That’s all we know
That’s all we’ve become
Our recognition
Yeah well we be walking in
Some kind of direction
In a line with our right foot first
Yes we’re waiting for some material heaven
That will, that will quench our thirst
But that’s all we got here
That’s all we know
That’s all we’ve become
Our recognition
And I don’t know what to do
About holding my head high
I am struggling to breathe through all these
In between times
And I am wondering why
I am wondering why
And I was born into this place
That filters who we are
By what we have done
Yes I know I am a product of this institution
That’s all I got yeah
That’s all I know
That’s all i’ve become
My recognition oh
And I don’t know what to do
About holding my head high
I am struggling to breathe through all these
In between times
And I am wondering why
I am wondering why

Song in my head.....

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind....Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappyI thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me.....Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips

You told me you would never, never forget

These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappyI thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

*I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that...Easy to walk right in and out

Of my life?*

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should have known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

-----A fine frenzy