my thoughts on religion

im going through a point in my life where I don't really know where I stand or what it's for. I have developed my own moral throughout my own experiences. I like how I turned out and my parents tell me its because of God's guidance....but is it? I don't want to have something to believe in that has caused death and destruction for thousands of years. People have died for their religion, for what they believe and I do not feel that strongly about anything...and it leaves me confused. I want to believe that there is a reason that things happen and that one day I may understand why there is so much evil in the world. I've become more aware of what I stand for and I think that Catholicism is my main source of confusion. How can a belief system say they are accepting of all people, but not allow gay couples to marry? I also cannot believe in a religion that uses guilt as it's fuel. I want something to believe in. I know there is something bigger than me out there because there is something within me that makes me want to do good rather than bad for reasons beyond myself. I want to reach out and help people. I want to take a leap...but where. For years, I have had an intuition that I am put on this earth to help people. Ideas of the peace core, community service, teach for America, and aids help have been echoing my thoughts. How do you explain that? I always believe in the best of people. I look at happiness first. All of these things, I feel like I developed on my own. I have not asked God for help with these things, I just became this way....soo what made me happen? Maybe im being WAY too introspective...maybe I should close my eyes and follow blindly with Catholicism...or maybe I should just jump and make what I can from what I have and do good on my own.