change

I know people say change is good...but its bad too. I mean...change is hard. I hate it. I don't like to differ from my normal self. In fact, my most recent changes have been the most difficult to handle. I wonder if you conciously do it or if theres a way to stop changing. I mean I basically want the personality I have now when im old because I dont want to feel old. Im tired of compromising myself for other people. Im always dissapointed in the end. I need to stop changing the good things and target the stuff thats healthy to change. This is more of a self reflective thing for myself I guess. The worst is guys. For the longest time I have felt like if i change to this guys standards, ill be okay but i noticed something: they never change for me. I need to stop molding myself into someone im pretending to be. Its too exhausting and painful. I wanna be me.