If there were a "man store"

Wouldn't it be magical if there were a store where people could shop for their potential partner!? I mean, how wonderful would it be to have life's assholes already labeled for you. No more surprises or "oh shiiiit" moments,because hey, they would be labeled that way. I mean, lets say you like the good guys, they will have to have a clean track record before they can enter, five or less sexual partners....if not...he gets the boot. Wouldn't that make life so much more simplistic? Or those scary ex girlfriends you've had? WHo needs em? They can't enter if they have looked through their previous lovers phones or have the password to their facebook account. Done. I think at times dating is impossible, but hey, what would we have to talk about if we werent venting about the crazies? haha I guess life is just like that. If there ever happens to be a launch on the boyfriend/girlfriend store though, Id put a down payment on it.

Post Secret

I just went to the postsecret event at my campus arts center and I can't help but feel conflicted. It was a very powerful presentation of peoples secrets exposed. Some students shared being raped. Others confessed they hated themselves. I was shaken by their bravery, but also in awe of human nature. We all want to connect. We all want to feel as though we have something in common with someone. We always feel as though we are alone in our problems, but the reality is, we all have problems. Not a single person is perfect. All of us have secrets. I am an upfront person. I share what I know and what I feel and so entering this event, I could not think of anything to share because I said "I have no secrets". To my surprise, after hearing from others, suppressed things began to come back. I actually have many secrets. The most lie within my own denial of my inner truths that I have pushed aside. How did these people find the courage to share their innermost insecurities with two thousand people? I think deep down we all want to feel our existence. We want to be acknowledged. It is a very courageous act to share such things. Its a bravery I may never know.

Why don't you pick up the phone and call me?

Cath... such a sad, but great song

Cath.... she stands
With a well intentioned man
But she can't relax
With his hand on the small of her back
And as the flash bulbs burst
She holds a smile
Like someone would hold a bowl
Or a crying child

Soon everybody will ask
What became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast
And you didn't know what to do

Cath..... it seems
That you live in someone else's dreams
In a hand-me-down wedding dress
With the things that could've been
All repressed

But you said your vows
And you closed the door
On so many men
Who would have loved you more

Soon everybody will ask
What became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast
And you didn't know what to do

The whispers that it won't last
Run up and down the pews
But if their hearts were dying that fast
They'd have done the same as you

And I'd have done the same as you.

good song

Set The Fire To The Third Bar"


I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

Women

I have no idea how we expect men to understand us when I don't even have a clue as to why women are the way we are. We get mad at nothing. We take something small and make it huge! We take sides when we have no business to. We gossip. We travel in large groups or pairs and are incapable of being alone....even for a bathroom trip. Sometimes I feel so foreign to the female species, I have no idea where I fit?

the games we play

I am so tired of the social standards or what to do and what not to do! I mean, who says you can't wear white in February!? Why are women stereotyped as homosexual if they wear sweats everyday and a baseball cap? Why CAN'T I swear!? Who says I have to wait a certain amount of dates to make something official? Why does ANYTHING need to be official!? Why is there such a hype around every action people take!? It drives me insane. I have always felt I feel most comfortable marching to the beat of my own drum, but I feel like I am always on the outside because of it. I am blunt because I feel honesty in a person is a rare quality and why not tell things the way they are? I feel as though certain social standards of dating, conducting myself as a woman, education, and expectations hold me back. If I hold back on sex, which I do, im considered a prude. If I move too quick too soon, I'm a slut, but its okay for a man to bed as many women as he wants because "its a phase". BULL! I am not supposed to burp or find potty humor amusing, because I am expected to "be a lady". I wear sweatpants and a baseball hat at least four times a week. Its what I do. As soon as I dress in a sexy dress, I'm a slut? What? All of these social standards hold me down. DATING! OH such another realm all together. The girl, she can't be too forward because she will scare him off. She waits for the phone call. She plays hard to get. She is not supposed to let him know how much she likes him. What kind of backwards standard is that!? If I like a guy, I will tell him. If I want to talk to him, I want to call him. Who says its the guy's job to make the first move? Why can't I? I can probably do it better than he can :) Unfortunately it is this attitude that often gets me burned. I stick out. I was not raised to blend in. I like it, but it sure makes things much more difficult.