Just let me be. Get off me. Stop suffocating me. Trust me, I can make my own decisions. Don't second guess me. I do things for me. I own things for me. Understand more, control less. Be a guide, not an obstacle. There are things beyond my control. I dont bend that way. You cant make me fit into a mold that you made. I won't be who you want me to be so stop trying. Accept. Embrace. You can't change me. I won't change for you. Let me go and let me grow.

damn lucky

This summer I could have died. Not once, but twice. If I think about it, I could have died several times this summer. I should consider myself damn blessed. A bump in my back was found and thought to be suspicious. I was almost hit by a car when crossing the tolls in Boston. I got in a car accident damaging my car with a total of $2,000 worth of damage and I was left untouched. Blessed? I think so.

a separate piece

There are times when I feel like I am on a seperate course than everyone else. I don't know why, but I have the feeling I am the way I am for a very specific purpose. I sometimes feel as though I have the innocent playfullness of a six yer old child that so many of my friends have lost....some are lucky enough to have kept it. I also feel as though there are more times than not that I am five years ahead of everyone else. I feel as though I have been planning my purpose in making ripples in the world since age ten and my peers are only now starting to even think about such things and I am a senior in college. I have been a mini adult since I was 13 and realized I may have to take care of my parents and friends more often than they care for me. I am going to have to sit and wait until my peers go through their "experimental stage" and get ready to really live their lives. I will not meet a guy to meet my maturity level until I am graduated college and way on my way to success.....maybe 25-30 because thats when most men decide being with one woman the rest of their lives isn't such a bad thing. I will have to fake crazy bar nights and insane 21st birthdays because I love the people I celebrate them with, but honestly, I can't wait for them to catch up already. I am tired of people thinking the only way to feel like they are living is through an altered state of mind through drugs or alcohol. Im tired of meeting guys who do not have any problem lying to you to get a quick sex fix. Im exhausted with the endless parties and boring talk about "livin' it up" and "scoring some". Im just done. Im ready to travel. Im ready to experience things that are so naturally intense that I feel high with the overwhelming thought that there are things larger in life than my own life. I want to learn things and change lives. I want to see things that help me greater appreciate what I have and show me how to live my life sincerely and selflessly. That is what is important to me. It's so hard to live this way on my own and I cant wait till someone decides to catch up or walk in my direction....

I broke my toe last night while opening a door. Who else do you know that can say that?

tattoo??

So I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for a loooong time and I really am just browsing for now but Im thinking about several different options...I know I want it to be small and somewhere that is not too obvious. I love the idea of small birds or a wishbone..
http://mydailytattoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/tattoo2_by_meghanmargarita.jpg
this one is insane but id never do it but something artsy like this would be nice. Maybe I will design it myself.

One of those days

So you know when you have one of those days when you're like, "yeah, Im lookin' good!" Well, I had one of those today. Dressed well, did my hair, had a good photo critique. I was bomb (no modesty in this girl). You know I was so bomb I had an extra bounce in my step. I was so bomb that I did not notice the step that I missed and tripped while going UP the stairs in front of a large crowd of students at the student union spilling my coffee all over myself and stubbing my toes. Oh man, talk about a total buzz kill. It was brutal.

this week

This week I have to work on the following
1) photo project with ten prints due for Monday
2) final 3-D design project due Tuesday
3) Two final graphite drawings for 120 due Tuesday
4) Art Ed observation paper due Monday
5) REAAAALLLYY stupid art writing book due Tuesday

I cannot wait to get wasty faced after this week....phew